Sucks at Blogging

So this semester was long and painful - which should explain the extreme lack of blogging.

Well, I'll catch everyone up at a later date... quite a lot happened this semester....

but here's a preview:

Sam turned 21

this is Stella

she's kind of my dog

I got a haircut

and a really cute dog

that sleeps like this

I got her from this guy, my professor, Dr. Bohannon

she gets upset when I leave and watches me through the window

then Brendan found a cat... we called it Kitty

then there's this guy

I love him to pieces

So that's a very swift wrap up of my semester in pictures. I will explain all of this more fully in time. However, seeing as I'm taking my senior seminar course over Christmas Break, and moving, it may take a little bit of time to get everything in.... bear with me, because I love you.

Which I do, very very much. :) 

Tweeter

No. Not the "Social Network"

So, first of all, I seriously need to stop trying to open my apartment using my car clicker. It's really getting embarrassing. 

Second, I will briefly mention "Keys Guy". It was meant to be a post, but never truly blossomed. So here's the short version of that icky encounter.

So, Tuesdays are Hellish to say the least. That particular Tuesday, I was scheduled to work on top of everything else that Tuesdays entail for me which is getting up at 5:00 am, leaving the house by 6:30, being in Jackson around 7:00, staying there and teaching until 2:00. From there, I go straight to class, and after class, I went to work until 9:30. Yeah. Awesome.

So not only was that a fantastically long day, but when I arrived at work, I locked my keys in my car. Super. So, I went inside, informed Amanda (my sales lead) and proceeded to hunt down Wavis, the Mall Cop. He hooked me up with the guy that normally helps stupid mall-goers who lock their keys in their cars. Wavis told him I'd be off work around 9:00, so he should show up around then. So I went through my shift, about as cranky as can be - which, according to Amanda, is still fun - until Wavis showed up at the door saying the Keys Guy was there. I rushed outside to meet the guy and realized that I had no way to pay him - I never carry cash and my check book was at home. So unless he could slide my card through his buttcrack and get money off of it, he was pretty much SOL in the payment department. I told him of my predicament, and instead of telling me how I should pay him, he went on and on about how familiar I looked. I told him that it had been two years since I last locked my keys in my car and have never called someone from Jackson to open it, but he insisted that it was him. I kept pushing the subject back to squaring the bill until he said, "Well, maybe I'll swing by next time you work... Or I can just take you out to lunch or something." 

Seriously?! Ugh.... Not only is that gross, as the dude was my dad's age and had a mustache and a tow-truck, but it would have in no way made us even. So, I just left and never heard from him again. Way to go Emily for basically stealing services. But hey, I'd say that hitting on me made us even.

So back to the Tweeter.

So I pulled up to my apartment today to see a little bird sitting on the steps to my building. I went ahead and assumed he would have flown away by the time I drove right up to him, parked my car and got out, but you know what they say about those who assume....

So it was still sitting there when I walked up to it, set my bags down, sat down on the step next to it, took some pictures of it, and reached out my hand and petted it.

 I know what you're thinking... "BIRD FLU"... but seriously, that wasn't even real. And I highly doubt I could get it from such a cute little thing.
So, for those of you who know me well, you know that anything with four or fewer legs is a friend of mine, so I could not just leave it there and go on about my day. No.
I sat there discussing what it was exactly that "Tweeter" was doing out on my stoop and why it wasn't flying the heck away from big, scary me. So while we were discussing this, I continued to pet Tweeter, hoping that it'd get up and fly away, that I would eventually scare the pants off of it enough to make it fly. But that wouldn't make for much of a story, now would it?
So instead, I thought, "Well, maybe if I try to pick it up, it will freak out and fly off". So that is exactly what I did. But instead of flying away, this happened:

This was about the time I told Tweeter that we were going to have to call the one person in the world who would know what to do. Gramma Buettner. For as long as I can remember, she has known everything about birds and has attempted to teach me the same. So I called Gram, and held Tweeter.

With her infinite wisdom, Gram gave me the advice I needed, "Offer it refreshment - that makes everyone feel better". So, Tweeter and I had a quick little photo shoot before I headed off for refreshment.

Then, I set Tweeter on the hood of my Jeep and ran upstairs to grab a cap-full of water and the heel of my bread loaf - nobody likes that part anyway - and took them back down the the little bird who was still hanging out on my Jeep. I tore the bread in half to encourage eating and set both the bread and the water down in front of him and continued my incessant photographing.

After that, I told Tweeter to get better and fly off, and went to go and get some lunch for myself. When I looked down from the window, it was still there, so I told it that it needed to leave before I had to go tutor kids at Cape Middle. Gram said that a cat may get it if it was within reach - which I was sure to let Tweeter know... I think that's how it got the gumption to leave, because when I came down for tutoring, some of the bread was eaten, the water had crumbs in it, and Tweeter was gone.

Gram asked me to email her some pictures to figure out what it was, and she called me back to inform me that she believed it to be a female Tennessee Warbler. So evidently, she's supposed to be migrating south, and may have gotten separated from her crowd and got lost. My dad thinks she ran into my building. I'd rather stick with Gram's idea.

As it turns out, I get my Snow White-ish tendencies from my Gram. She informed me today that she recently found a dead hummingbird (her favorite) on her driveway. Instead of tossing it in the woods like most cold, dis-compassionate human beings, she wrapped it in a Kleenex and buried it in her flower garden. So woodland creatures like me by nature. Gram says that the Warbler knew where to go to get help - and she came to me!

I swear. The weirdest things always happen to me.

Love to the readers!!

My name is Emily and I'm a Mormon.

You know those commercials, right??
If not, oh well.

So last night was the Chamber Choir's Fondue Night "Rehearsal"... I use the term "rehearsal" VERY loosely.

So for those of you who somehow have not yet found out, yesterday I was stranded without a car. If it were not for the great and amazing friend that Sam is, I would never have survived... I mean, I probably would have but whatever. She just so happened to be working the exact same hours as me and, thank goodness, gave me a ride to work and to said Fondue Night.

Upon arrival at the Hendricks estate, I was greeted by Stella, a sweet, wobbly and rather rotund yellow labby looking dog, but that's beside the point.

By the way, Dr. Hendricks reads this blog, so... Dr Hendricks, be warned: This is about you! 
And to my fellow choir members, brace yourself for the image to come.....

So once most everyone arrived, we had our "rehearsal time" which consisted of singing through Remember twice and calling it a day. We then moved on to FONDUE!!! There was oil fondue and raw meat to cook, cheese fondue and an assortment of things to cheese-ify and, my personal favorite, the chocolate fountain with loads of tasty treats to dunk in. I primarily spent the fondue time spearing banana chunks and making them dive into the chocolate fountain creating a fabulously delectable morsel to immediately snarf... and believe me, snarfing ensued.
Anyway, throughout the process, everyone was socializing and having a jolly old time. While testing out the cheesy fondue goodness, Dr. Hendricks approached me and asked me how it was exactly that I got into blogging. He seemed mildly surprised by my answer of "Well, my life is full of strange and mildly amusing stories that my friends convinced me to make a blog out of" (cheers to you Panda), and we discussed how some blogs make relatively good livings by reviewing products and services or by just being awesome. I highly doubt that Time With Emily is up to any kind of money making standard as of yet, but hey, we can dream.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I swear this is public property, I found it on SEMO's website!

A little while later, after I'd pretty much emptied the dessert tray of bananas and was having a chat with Vikki and Robb (that's right, two Bs - please pronounce them both), Dr. Hendricks came back over. He looked at me and said, "I have kind of a weird question."
Feeling mildly apprehensive, I replied, "Ok..."
"What are you?" he asked, looking slightly sheepish.
"....." I stood there being confused about what he was asking. This will be approached again later.
"...like religiously", he clarified.
"Oh! I'm UCC. Why?"
"Oh, never mind."
"Wait, you can't just ask that and end it with no explanation."
It took some convincing, but as we were all very baffled he finally continued, "Well, it's just that you're always dressed nice and you have a blog."
Not exactly sure what that meant. The question mark on my face probably prompted the clarification. He continued, "Well, Hays (his wife) follows a lot of blogs for her sewing, and most of them are Mormon. So I guess I was just wondering if you were a Mormon, too."
"Hahahahahah! No I'm not, I just take pride in the appearance I present every day, so I always want to put my best foot forward. I do it for me."
"Well, that's a great way to go about things." And he moved on to have some more tasty fondue.
As soon as he walked away, Robb leaned over and said, "I was so sure he was going to ask you if you were a lesbian!" Which, it turns out, is exactly what I had thought too.

So the evening continued with a lot of singing - completely unrelated to any sort of rehearsal. Dr. H sang "the Piggy Song", a choir favorite, and we all joined together in an interesting rendition of "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green. There was a little bit of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and then we sang "BINGO" - yes, the little kids song followed by "She'll Be Comin' 'Round the Mountain". I'd call that an evening of well-mannered-frivolity.

And yes, that's an HP reference - good catch.

Love to the Readers!

P.S. GREAT picture Dr. Hendricks... It will probably come back to haunt you that I found this. :)

I Dream of Panda

So for the past month, I've been having loads of dreams about my best friend, Amanda - or better known as Panda. For those of you who don't know this lovely lady, she's been my best friend since preschool... Literally.

It may be blurry, but there we are: In preschool standing near to one another. I'm third from the right in the back, and she's right in front of me. Oh, and Eric's next to me, the handsome devil.

I'm not entirely certain what brought on the obsessive dreaming of my bestie, probably the fact that I miss her or something pathetic like that. Anywho, I've been keeping her posted of my insane dreams of her, and she seems to enjoy them, and I promised her a blog post dedicated to these nighttime wanderings. So, here it is.

Panda Dream #1: The Razor Incident
    The dream began with me arriving at Panda's mom's house to swim one sunny, summer afternoon. I went into the basement bathroom to change into my suit as always when I suddenly realized I had completely forgotten to shave. Ugh.
   Fortunately, there is a shower in said bathroom which I opened to find a pile of razors just sitting, waiting to be utilized. I wasted no time in snatching one up, and getting started hacking away at the caveman-ish hairiness. Midway through - or really when I was almost done - I realized that what I was doing was not only mildly disgusting, but it was also pretty darn rude to use someone else's razor without asking; even if that person has been your best friend your entire life. So, I opened the door to see Panda waiting for me on the couch that used to sit right outside the bathroom door. I peeked out and said, "Hey Panda? I totally forgot to shave. Could I borrow a razor?".
  She immediately jumped up and responded with, "Sure! I'll go grab you a new one!" and darted off upstairs while I hung my head in shame. I expected her to tell me to use one of the many in the shower, but as per typical of Panda, she wanted me to have a new, clean razor to shave with.

  Feeling highly ashamed of myself, I waited for Panda to come back downstairs. When she did, I burst out in embarrassment, "Panda, I'm so sorry but I kind of already used one of the razors in the shower before I asked and realized how rude it was! I'm so so so sorry!"
  She just chuckled at me and said, "Em, it's ok! See? You can pop off the head and put a new one right on... No big deal!"
  I continued on with my apologies until she would hear no more of it and left the bathroom. I finished shaving and we went swimming with a whole bunch of people that I didn't know were even there.

I woke up from this extremely disconcerted that I had used someone else's razor without asking, thoroughly grossed out.

Panda Dream #2: The Trampoline

Very similar to the Razor Incident, I arrived at Amanda's house to hang out. Only I was in a hideous red swimming suit and everyone else was in normal clothes... except Panda. She had on a bathing suit top and jeans. Still a lot more normal looking than me. Anyway, when I got there, I went through the basement - like the last dream - but didn't stop at the bathroom this time. I went out into the backyard to find a trampoline where the pool actually is. The entire karaoke crew was there (See "Finally Facin' my Waterloo" post) as well as Nick, and some blonde guy I didn't know. They were all laying on the trampoline. I talked to blonde guy for awhile. He had good teeth and was nice enough, so I determined that he was good enough to date Panda. Why? I do not know.
Then panda came out of the house and we decided it was time to bounce. Which she and I did while everyone else continued to lay there. It was like a really big, really lame game of pop-corn.

When I talked to Panda about this, it turns out I may have been dreaming about a cute blonde guy who had been showing interest in her... even though I've never met the guy. Weird.

Panda Dream #3: Little Bo Panda and Her Cheese Problem
This one was the best by far. I was in no way involved and was just an observer to the scene. Picture this:
There is a giant, open, green pasture, very hilly: think "Sound of Music".

In said hilly, green pasture, is a herd of goats. That's right, goats.
In the middle of the herd of goats stands a very disgruntled looking Panda in a sky blue, Bo Peep dress with matching bonnet - as well as her very stylish black glasses.
She is doing her very best to milk the goats and is doing a pretty good job, considering she's never milked a goat as far as I know. However, she gets increasingly frustrated with the fact that the goats are producing milk instead of cheese.
                    Side Note: For those of you who read this blog and don't know Panda personally, you must know that she has a weird affection for cheese - she wrote an entire blog entry about it.
The more she tries, the more angry she gets at the goats for their lack of cheese making. She keeps tugging at the teats and shouting "WHY WON'T YOU MAKE CHEESE?!". She continues moving from goat to goat, milking and yelling.
It was absolutely hysterical. Here is an artistic adaptation of the dream:

Just imagine that they're goats instead of sheep and she's milking them and shouting at them instead of searching for them.

That was the entire dream. I could not tell you why on earth she was there, or why she was so desperate for cheese, but the story remains.

Panda Dream #4: Stylist Panda
This one happened last night.

So I heard that Panda got this great new job at a salon called Eclipse. They had pretty pale pink business cards that she had given me, so I went by to surprise her at work, and to try and get a job as a receptionist - knowing how I adore reception work, this is not all that surprising. As it turns out, she was not a receptionist as I had guessed, but rather a stylist! She came out and was all excited to see me and to show me her new job. She took me back to her work station which was gorgeous - pale pink and stainless steel with a nice leather chair for clients as well as a bench that opened up to reveal a stock of makeup and other various doo-dads. While I was looking at her amazing new work space, she came running over with hair extensions and exclaimed that she was going to do my hair for the receptionist interview that she just got for me. She stuck some extensions in my bangs and straightened/curled them so that they looked really pretty. I was really hoping to see the final product of me with long pretty hair as done by my bestie, but I woke up as soon as she was finished straightening my bangs.

She hasn't heard this one yet either, but it was a really fun dream. I was pretty bummed that it wasn't real.

Love you Panda!

Foot Guy

Ok so the weirdest thing pretty much ever happened to me the other day.

I hadn't seen Sam in an outrageously long time, so we got together when I got off work and after my hair appointment on Friday. I had run myself completely out of food because I didn't go grocery shopping for weeks... seriously, I even ran out of Ramen noodles - and that's just sad.

So first we went to Walgreens to pick up pictures and nail polish and then headed across the street to Aldi's. I was still in my work clothes, and I had to admit, I'd managed a pretty cute outfit that day: Black lace jacket over a black tank, crop length shorts with a black belt and some cute black NY&C wedges. I love walking around in heels, as anyone who knows me understands - even when I'm at work and have to stand on a ladder for hours in them (which is mildly frightening for those of you who've never tried).

These are the fabulous shoes in question.

Since I'd forgotten my list, Sam was going through the things I could possibly need as we passed them. When we got to milk, cheese, hot dogs, I heard someone behind me say, "Ma'am, your shoes are really cute!". I turned to see this middle aged, large, bald black man coming toward me. Sam and I had both looked so he goes, "I meant her" (pointing at me). "Can I see them?", confused I said "Sure!" and kicked up my foot so he could better see my shoes. 

He walked closer to me - meaning uncomfortably close and within my personal bubble - and said "You should really go barefoot"... uhmm Seriously?!

Completely baffled, I responded to that with, "Yeah, uhm, I don't really do that in public" to which he replied, "I'll go barefoot with you".

This is about the time Sam snapped out of her totally confused moment and said loudly, "Yeah, she doesn't believe in feet. We both hate feet." And with that, she toted me away.

Whispering nervously about the odd scene that had just taken place, we made our way through the canned goods and sodas. We arrived to the frozen stuff cooler just as Foot Guy was approaching on the other side. Trying to keep our cool, we continued our conversation with our heads down - completely engrossed in the frozen chicken and pizza before us.

"I'm sorry if I offended you earlier"

Seriously!? This guy was STILL talking to us?!

"Oh, it's ok" - which evidently was an invitation for him to return to his way-too-close proximity. He walked completely around the cooler, leaving his poor cart of groceries abandoned and stood within three feet of me again. Sam, meanwhile, is continuing her staring into the cooler.

"So we're still friends?"

"Uhm.. I guess so..."

"What's your name?"

Ugh. You have got to be kidding me. I knew Sam would bust out laughing if I gave him a fake name, so I just said, "Emily."

"Nice to meet you, Emily. I'm John" he held out his hand for me to shake.

"Uhh, nice to meet you too" I briefly shook his hand and then swiftly reached behind me to clamp down on Sam's arm and drag her back to me "and this is my best friend, Sam."

"Hi" disgruntled Sam said.

"So you guys are best friends? Can I be a part of that?"

WHAT?!?!?

"Uhm... You have to earn that BAHAHAHH!" and cackling madly, because when I'm nervous I don't know what else to do, we departed, leaving Foot Guy looking lost in our wake.

Sam and I didn't linger after the second encounter with Foot Guy, and we got out of there faster than my daddy at a shoe sale. Now Sam relentlessly calls me "Pretty Feet". What a great nickname... Sheesh!

On a completely different subject, last night was GREAT! I mean, my house still reeks of bleach from my cleaning binge yesterday, but I feel as cleansed as my house - which is a good thing to feel before the  start of another stressful semester. But post-cleaning, my favorite Tante and my mommy came down to visit/ for a Straight No Chaser concert that was happening at the River Campus. If you're somehow unfamiliar with Straight No Chaser, they're an A Capella group from Indiana University that's crazy famous. We got to hear the latest version (meaning the ones that are actually still in college) perform, and they were FANTASTIC. If you don't know them, here's a link to a really fun youtube video:

Straight No Chaser

So we went to dinner at Broussard's and filled up on wonderful Cajun food, and enjoyed a fun concert. Today, I went to get my books because classes start tomorrow. What garbage. I've barely had a break from classes. What's it been, ten days?! Dumb. Anywho, I'm starting Block II this semester which basically means I'm going to be in a school for an entire school day once a week. Oh and it also means that I have one, yes one, professor in one classroom for every class. Now, fortunately (depending on how you look at it), I'm also taking Earth Science this semester which is outside of Block II, so there's a whole different room with a different, however sciency, professor for two hours every Monday. But that's it.

Loads of fun, if you ask me - especially judging by the ridiculous volume of textbooks now sitting on my kitchen table. Even though I have one prof and one classroom, I have an amazing number of texts... and none of them are joking around, they're pretty encyclopedia-sized. Huzzah.

Wish me luck and sanity!

Love you all!